By the Idler-in-Chief There are times when a Nyagenkean of my caliber and standing in society must briefly suspend comfort, postpone leisure, and respond to developments that threaten the balance between celebration culture and goat survival. This is one of those moments because as I write from my office—which is basically a chair placed under […]

By the Idler-in-Chief People whose mouths currently smell their mother’s milk may not appreciate that there was a time in Nyagenke when a family photograph was a serious affair. I am referring to those days when photographers were a rare species and attracted the admiration that is now given to people who fly here in […]

By the Idler-in-Chief You already know that Nyagenke is not a village that wastes a crisis. Here, we recycle everything — plastic bottles, political promises, and even national embarrassment. Last week, the entire village erupted when a wealthy Nyagenkean, while being arrested asked how “people living in tins” could arrest him. The statement spread across […]

By the Idler-in-Chief I am here to tell you that in Nyagenke, we do not believe in Google Maps. You see, Google Maps has never harvested maize, attended a harambee, or negotiated right of way with a stubborn goat. So when a four-year-old boy, Mose Morara, ama ukipenda MM, or better still Double M instructed […]

By the Idler-in-Chief In the good old days of Nyagenke, the word harambee carried the weight of a grandmother’s walking stick: firm, purposeful, and occasionally used to correct behavior. Those days, the people of Nyagenke said it with a straight back and a cleaner heart, for it meant we pull together, even when pulling was […]

By Idler-in-Chief I sinned on Tuesday but let me confess before I get burnt. You see, I boarded a Manyanga. For the uninitiated, a Manyanga is not a fruit, though its name sounds edible. It is a musical torture chamber disguised as a matatu, designed to remind aging bones like mine that the world no […]

By the Idler-in-Chief Here in Nyagenke, we have learnt to measure politricks not by the yardstick of truth, but by the springiness of tongues. This wisdom was freshly confirmed last week, when Doktari Timua of Jericho, a man who insists on introducing himself with the full title, “Doktari,” even when only buying sukuma mwaka at […]

By the Idler-in-Chief You already know that Nyagenke Technopolis has always been a place of experiments. Long before your town discovered expressways and parking boys invented “Pay or I Scratch Your Car,” the Nyagenkeans had perfected the art of improvisation. But even I, the certified Idler-in-Chief, was unprepared for the latest invention: the human waste […]

By the Idler-in-Chief You already know that Nyagenke Technopolis has always been a place of experiments. Long before your town discovered expressways and parking boys invented “Pay or I Scratch Your Car,” the Nyagenkeans had perfected the art of improvisation. But even I, the certified Idler-in-Chief, was unprepared for the latest invention: the human waste […]

By the Idler-in-Chief Here in Nyagenke, we have several categories of citizens; the hardworking, the politicians and the idle, whose interests I largely serve. We also have the wigs. You see, wigs are not just head-covering decorations. They’ve fully assimilated into our life and unconfirmed reports show that some wigs own voter’s cards, and made […]