You see, what began as milking our buffalo milk, political gymnastics, premium perspiration and other Nyagenke wonders has become international news.

Somehow, even buildings that previously specialised in selling phone covers, second-hand shoes and repair electronic gadgets now appear to have discovered the business of warming human beings.

Reached for comment, the Ministry of Livestock and Deadstock Opportunities dismissed the protests as premature, insisting that buffaloes had traditionally featured in matrimonial transactions.

Nyagenke embraced buffalo milk several centuries ago, when other kingdoms were still arguing with their cows about the future of dairy farming.

By the Idler-in-Chief There are times when a Nyagenkean of my caliber and standing in society must briefly suspend comfort, postpone leisure, and respond to developments that threaten the balance between celebration culture and goat survival. This is one of those moments because as I write from my office—which is basically a chair placed under […]

By the Idler-in-Chief People whose mouths currently smell their mother’s milk may not appreciate that there was a time in Nyagenke when a family photograph was a serious affair. I am referring to those days when photographers were a rare species and attracted the admiration that is now given to people who fly here in […]

By the Idler-in-Chief You already know that Nyagenke is not a village that wastes a crisis. Here, we recycle everything — plastic bottles, political promises, and even national embarrassment. Last week, the entire village erupted when a wealthy Nyagenkean, while being arrested asked how “people living in tins” could arrest him. The statement spread across […]

By the Idler-in-Chief I am here to tell you that in Nyagenke, we do not believe in Google Maps. You see, Google Maps has never harvested maize, attended a harambee, or negotiated right of way with a stubborn goat. So when a four-year-old boy, Mose Morara, ama ukipenda MM, or better still Double M instructed […]

By the Idler-in-Chief In the good old days of Nyagenke, the word harambee carried the weight of a grandmother’s walking stick: firm, purposeful, and occasionally used to correct behavior. Those days, the people of Nyagenke said it with a straight back and a cleaner heart, for it meant we pull together, even when pulling was […]

By Idler-in-Chief I sinned on Tuesday but let me confess before I get burnt. You see, I boarded a Manyanga. For the uninitiated, a Manyanga is not a fruit, though its name sounds edible. It is a musical torture chamber disguised as a matatu, designed to remind aging bones like mine that the world no […]