By the Idler-in-Chief
There are many ways of keeping a political crowd entertained while waiting for a politician to arrive, but Nyagenke discovered on Sunday that sometimes the best entertainment requires neither a hired musician nor an expensive sound system.
It turned out that all you need is a balcony, a woman with a sense of rhythm and an audience that has been standing around for long enough to appreciate an unexpected break from politricks.
Also Read
For those behind the news, let me put you in front and disclose that supporters waiting for the arrival of Sibuna had gathered at the rally venue.
Presumably, they were prepared for the familiar political diet of slogans, speeches, promises, Zugoi express chants and somebody explaining how Nyagenke will finally be fixed once the keys to the big house are given to their (wo)man.
Then, somewhere above them, a tibiim looking lady emerged from her door, simply to enjoy the music that had been entertaining the supporters.
I don’t need to disclose that she was not on the campaign platform, had not been introduced by the MC and, as far as I could establish, she was not part of the official programme.
She simply made extra use of the balcony and began dancing, giving the sea of humanity below a rather generous display of her voluptuous assets.
Cameras below quickly discovered that politics was not necessarily the most interesting thing happening in the neighbourhood.
The Wantam supporters, being ordinary human mortals rather than members of a political monastery, naturally appreciated the intervention.
For a while, the balcony became an unofficial entertainment stage as the crowd watched, cheered and recorded what was unfolding above them.
Going by the cheers, the masses were okay to hand her a Twotam or ForeverTam, for this, in its own peculiar way, was an easy way of uniting the Nyagenkeans, who needed something to drown their frustrations orchestrated by misaligned political priorities.
Responsible citizen
You see, waiting for politicians can be exhausting.
(Mis)leaders are good at keeping their audiences waiting, whether they are stuck in traffic, finishing another speech somewhere else or simply demonstrating the importance of their arrival by arriving fashionably late.
The lady therefore did what any responsible citizen might do when confronted with a restless political crowd: she provided free entertainment.
It turned out that as supporters were waiting for Sibuna to address the nation, somebody addressed the crowd without uttering a single political word.
There were no manifestos, no promises of (un)affordable housing, no declarations about unemployment and certainly no explanation of how the cost of living would be reduced.
Just music, movement and a balcony, and, Nyagenke, of course, immediately understood the assignment.
This is the strange beauty of modern politricks, where a politician can spend weeks preparing a speech only for an unplanned moment somewhere nearby to become the thing that breaks the internet, whatever that means.
The politicians were preparing to collect votes; the lady was perhaps making her contribution in the national political conversation, but she ended up collecting (un)solicited views.
And so, while the politicians had supporters; the balcony had an audience.
And while Sibuna’s people were waiting for their man to arrive, the lady ensured that nobody could accuse them of being bored.
The Idler-in-Chief suspects that campaign managers should now take note, and the next SisiNdioSibuna rally programme may need a new item:
2pm – Arrival of supporters.
3pm – Music and political speeches.
4pm – Wanitam slogans
4.30pm – Balcony entertainment, subject to availability.
You see, whether the lady was supporting Sibuna, supporting the music, supporting her own dancing career or simply supporting Nyagenke’s right to have a little fun, we shall leave that investigation to online political and entertainment detectives, who have already refused to agree how to start the investigations.
But as I finish this sentence, one thing is certain: while everybody was waiting for Sibuna, the balcony woman had already won the crowd.
-babahezel@gmail.com
