OPINION
By OMBOKI MONAYO
Journalism has not allowed me the luxury of evading the gritty realities of life, including the frequent occurrences of violence.
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This particular scene remains etched in my memory: a hotel room in Kisii Town, awash with gruesome bloodstains, the air thick with the chilling silence following a brutal attack.
As our press team struggled to comprehend the sheer scale of the violence that had turned the previously neat setup into a bloody disaster, Juliet and Robert, once a picture of marital bliss, lay half a kilometre away in a hospital, their story a stark testament to the devastating consequences of domestic violence.
Their case is not isolated; it’s a chilling reflection of a pervasive problem that demands our collective and immediate attention.
Initially, their relationship seemed like a match made in heaven, masking simmering tensions beneath the surface.
Robert, a hardworking technician, was silently battling the inner demons of suspicion, resentment and unresolved anger, shaped by the pressure of a hectic work schedule at the factory where his skills as a technician were regularly demanded, and the fleeting pleasures of a long distance relationship in a young marriage.
Juliet, a successful dressmaker, possessed an independent spirit that perhaps challenged the traditional dynamics of their union. The silent storm in paradise gathered over time, culminating in a horrific explosion of violence.
One evening after the couple had enjoyed a sumptuous meal and drinks in Kisii Town, a seemingly harmless argument—fueled by Robert’s unfounded suspicions of infidelity after Juliet attended a relative’s funeral—quickly escalated into a nightmarish event.
Robert’s fury erupted in a sudden and brutal machete attack, leaving Juliet severely injured, bleeding, naked, traumatized and screaming for help in the hotel corridor.
His subsequent suicide attempt saw him take poison and jump onto the path of an oncoming lorry after a panicky escape from the hotel room. The incident, which left the couple hospitalized in the same medical facility, threw the couple’s families and community into a spin, questioning how such a bond could unravel so violently.
Men also suffer
In the wake of the incident, I reflected on the twin-headed monster that stalks our homes, gender-based violence (GBV) and intimate partner violence (IPV). Statistics paint a grim picture: one in three Kenyan women experience physical or sexual violence from an intimate partner.
Men also suffer and even die, often silently enduring abuse out of shame or fear. The scars of this violence extend far beyond the individuals involved; they adversely impact families, friends, and entire communities.
Despite the horror that clouded Juliet and Robert’s story, a flicker of hope endured and shone bright. Both found a capacity for forgiveness amidst the devastation and injuries.
Tragically, Robert, who had been handcuffed to his hospital bed as he awaited the legal consequences of his actions, succumbed to his injuries after a week. Juliet’s eventual recovery—though long and arduous—offers a testament to the resilience of the human spirit.
This tragedy underscores a critical point: we must choose between compassion and cruelty. The 16 Days of Activism against Gender-Based Violence serve as a stark reminder of our collective responsibility to confront this pervasive issue.
We must challenge societal norms and gender stereotypes that normalize abuse and silence victims. Empowering individuals to recognize warning signs and seek help is essential to breaking the cycle of violence.
To achieve this, we need increased access to resources for survivors and robust legal frameworks that hold perpetrators accountable. A comprehensive approach that includes education, prevention, and support services is vital. Teaching conflict resolution skills and promoting healthy relationship dynamics can create safe spaces where victims feel empowered to speak out without fear of retribution.
As we approach the end of another year, the fight against domestic violence is far from over.
Whether you are a survivor or witness, understanding the warning signs of a looming disaster and actively seeking help is paramount. No relationship is worth jeopardizing your life or the lives of others.
You deserve to live free from anger, bitterness, violence and fear.
If you are reading this and are struggling, please reach out for help. Your life is precious.
Let’s break the silence, heal the scars, and build a Kenya where love conquers the hunger for revenge, a society in which courage includes the willingness and fortitude to let go, safely walk away from a toxic relationship and start afresh elsewhere.
It’s time for all of us to stand up against domestic violence and ensure that no one suffers in silence again. #EndFemicideKE #EndAndrocideKE
- The author is a journalist and a communications consultant at Kaski Creatives. He is also a member of Kisii Press Club. The opinions contained in the article are his own, and do not reflect the position of the publication’s editorial board.
