By the Idler-in-Chief Here in Nyagenke, Njaanuary creeps in chewing loudly, crunching leaf by leaf, like a determined goat that has discovered an unattended kitchen garden. After weeks of December merrymaking; when meat flowed like rumours in Nyagenke Intervillage Open Air Market and plates bent under the weight of nyama, pilau, and other festive declarations […]

By the Idler-in-Chief At the Nyagenke Group of DEB Primary Schools, academic creativity has reached a level only the angels can interpret. The other day, a pupil was asked to “write a poem in five lines.” The young scholar, driven by Nyagenke literalism, believed that he obeyed the instruction faithfully. He wrote POEM in big, […]

By the Idler-in-Chief This column exists to make you laugh, but I do not expect laughter today because it would be the surest sign that one’s mind has lost sound. You see, the Nyagenkeans have unanimously agreed that death is stupid. Snatching Agwambo from the world? That’s not strategy but stupidity on a celestial scale. […]

A Tribute by Nyar Murima — Wangari Mwai The quiet waters ofNam Lolwe —They are no more.Only harsh waves of tears,They crush and hurtThe shores ofNam Lolwe. The winds in the waters ofNam LolweCan’t stop their roaring cry.The waves rise and runAcross the ever-dry sandy shores ofNam Lolwe. High waves rise in murmur,Rising and falling,All […]

By the Idler-in-Chief If the gods of Nyagenke ever wanted a theatre, they needn’t look further than our campaign trails. Forget drama, forget comedy; what we have is a fully-funded spectacle of steel, fuel, smoke and dust. The election bell is far from ringing but the Nyagenkeans have already been invited to line up, clap, […]

By the Idler-in-Chief There was a time here in Nyagenke when life was so simple that laughter, tears, and hunger all queued effortlessly like prefects during inspection. Tea at home was never guaranteed; sometimes it was water in a cup with hope added. Those days, shoes were for Sunday only, and during weekdays we competed […]

By the Idler-in-Chief If you think the Nyagenkeans are just ordinary villagers, you clearly have never seen them on a Saturday night at the Nyagenke Extra Time Bar. These are not mere fans; these are self-declared billionaires, club owners, managers, coaches, and FIFA presidents—at least until the final whistle blows. They troop in wearing jerseys […]

By the Idler-in-Chief Unknown to you, my grandson had 32 spikes in his mouth when Tokyo branded trousers became a big thing in Nyagenke and beyond, in the late 1990s. By spikes I mean teeth though honestly, one needed real spikes to defend himself from the jealous stares that followed anyone wearing the fabulous Tokyo. […]

By the Idler-in-Chief Here in Nyagenke, we have learnt to measure politricks not by the yardstick of truth, but by the springiness of tongues. This wisdom was freshly confirmed last week, when Doktari Timua of Jericho, a man who insists on introducing himself with the full title, “Doktari,” even when only buying sukuma mwaka at […]

By the Idler-in-Chief You already know that Nyagenke Technopolis has always been a place of experiments. Long before your town discovered expressways and parking boys invented “Pay or I Scratch Your Car,” the Nyagenkeans had perfected the art of improvisation. But even I, the certified Idler-in-Chief, was unprepared for the latest invention: the human waste […]