By KPC Reporter
On burial day in Gusii region, mourners move to the graveside with various intentions.
While some witness the interment of their loved ones and conduct the last prayer, others ostensibly observe how family members, particularly the departed person’s spouse behaves.
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The people are usually keener if the dead is a young man and has left a widow behind.
In the community, once the body is lowered, family members, more especially the widow should throw soil in the grave before the diggers fill it.
This is what was happening at Kiambere village of Nyamira County on Friday before the solemn ceremony turned ugly and led to the severe assault of a widow.
The videos of that incident, where at least four men are physically assaulting the woman have since gone viral and caused the arrest and prosecution of three, while the fourth suspect is on the run.
The incident which continues to be current online and offline has led to widespread condemnation from many Kenyans.
The woman had reportedly left the marriage and only returned so that their two children could witness the burial of their father.
Multiple interviews with people in Gusii region shown division on this culture of widows getting forced to participate in the ritual of throwing soil in their spouse’s grave.
Ignorance
Araka Matundura who is the chairman of Abagusii Cultural Development Council says the attack was wrong and the attackers should face the full force of the law.
“The men who were forcing her to throw the soil before they assaulted her probably don’t know the significance of the act,” Matundura said.
“Probably the woman had her reasons for refusing and beating her was not the best option.”
Matundura said the family should have engaged the woman in a peaceful dialogue to understand why she was unwilling.
He argued that the notion that throwing the soil ties the woman to the family so that she doesn’t remarry elsewhere was wrong.
Some people believe if a widow throws the soil and leaves, something bad like death might strike her new husband.
They also believe that a woman who refuses probably had a hand in the husband’s death.
“Many have actually thrown soil in their departed husband’s grave and proceeded to leave and remarry without anything bad happening to them,” the elder said.
He said throwing the soil is meant to signify acceptance that one has died and is no longer with the living.
“It’s a form of saying bye and people including pastors, family and friends do it,” Matundura said.
He said contrary to the widely held belief, no widow has ever died for remarrying after fully participating in the ritual.
Exaggeration
However, Obino Nyambane who is a Gusii cultural enthusiastic said the incident had been exaggerated.
“Marriage is not a personal but community thing. If dowry is paid and the wife leaves the home, she will have to be cleansed upon return,” Nyambane said.
He said the widow had refused the cleansing, and this proved the attackers.
“People should understand community aspects before they comment. The woman knew it would happen and still came to the graveside. She should have stayed back,” he said.
Henry Spartans who is an activist and don at Kisii University says the incident was demeaning, crude, barbaric, uncouth and unacceptable.
“It’s totally unacceptable. No one should be forced to participate in a ritual,” he said.
He added that this was a form of Gender Based Violence (GBV) and should be roundly condemned.
“Throwing the soil has no meaning really. If one is dead, that’s it.”
Strange to culture
Other sources indicate that women never used to get anywhere near a grave in the past, and the controversy arising from widows’ refusal does not have a cultural foundation.
The current incident is not the first and is unlikely to be the last any soon.
Some years back, a woman whose husband died in the United States was forced to throw soil in his grave at a Nyamira village.
In that burial, the woman first assisted her baby to throw the soil from a spade before she also threw reluctantly.
The burial was being led by members of a local church.
A similar incident was witnessed in Kisii during the burial of a Kenya Defence Forces (KDF) officer who died after a chopper crash.
The wife reportedly feigned faiting so as not to throw soil.
Burials are characterised with rituals in most African communities.
